The Fear of Permanence: Trusting Your Body to Heal Trauma

Hey Unearthers,

I wanted to share a thought that I’ve noticed has been coming up a lot lately in my work with my wonderful clients that have relational trauma. Bear in mind that these are my own scattered, Thursday afternoon thoughts, offering little to no structure, editing, or organization. If you choose to read on, you can’t say I didn’t warn ya!

When my clients and I begin to move into the deeper layers of their trauma, there’s a completely understandable sense of initial resistance – not always – but sometimes. When I explore the resistance with them, what I often hear across the board between everyone, isn’t so much that there’s a fear of feeling the painful emotions and distress, but rather, a fear that they will not be able to emerge from them once they have been accessed. That they will be stuck in it forever, with no way out. It makes so much sense why it can feel impossible at times to trust the process of healing. 

First, let me acknowledge how very real this fear is. For those with C-PTSD, (or complex trauma), a very common response to dealing with persistent inconsistency and chronic devastation is to shut our bodies down, so when we finally make it to that point of holding the hard stuff, it might feel overwhelming. It is often true that when we begin to heal, we feel discomfort emotionally, mentally, and physiologically.

Here’s another truth: your body also knows exactly what it is doing to process and heal at its own pace. With the help of a therapist who is attuned to you and your body’s needs, we can move gently, slowly, and intentionally so that you can allow your body to do what it needs to do, and that is: to emerge. 

The key is learning to trust the rhythm of your healing. My hope for you when you read this is that you are reminded that pain and discomfort are not forever. Our bodies may carry the past, but it can also carry such resilience and hope. Healing may not happen overnight, but it will come. Trust your body—we are designed to heal.

Some questions that might be helpful to ponder: 

-What is your relationship to trusting your body to move through difficult emotions? 

-What emotions come up for you when you think about giving yourself permission to fully feel?

-Have you noticed moments when you've felt distress, but it eventually shifted? What helped you through that?

-What does your body need to feel safe as you start to trust its ability to heal?

If you’re curious about beginning trauma work with me, visit my page on trauma, or my EMDR page. To schedule a session or consult with me, fill out the form here.